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Alright, I missed the last 2 weeks. Why? Well… short story: I was away. Long story involves a half blind pug and Fable 2. Thank God for DVR. I don’t know how I survived TV without it.

So, a quick recap to bring people up to speed:

Bryce is a hipster douche, he and Viktor have severe attitude problems. Olivier has an accent that makes no effing sense. Bert has a chip on his shoulder. And Lauren/a I don’t give a crap she’s Pretty Pretty Princess, is trying to make “classy not assy” a catch phrase.

Suspenders went home, which made me sad. I didn’t think his umbrella dress was that bad compared to the baby blue wee wee pad dress Bryce made.

Fallene! I didn’t have time to make a nickname for you! I’m sorry you’re gone! But in a way I am glad she went home now. If she had been passed through I think the higher pressure and intensity of the coming weeks would have totally broken her. The problem is that she and Bryce both said that she was responsible for that black swan dress. I don’t think that’s fair since Fallene totally made the only thing worth looking at there. If Bryce is in the bottom 3 this week he needs to go home.

Now, onto the gripe!

Snuggly Bear should have won with his bird seen dress. That dress was beautiful and the birdseed so crazy perfect and I loved looking at it. Nin and Mikey are huge hypocrites for decrying and sending home Suspenders for his “conventional” material in the umbrella, while giving What’s-his-hoodle a pass on an uninspired, barely altered doggy bed top that make the model look huge. It was also such a bland color palette, and the first thing I thought was that it was essentally Andre’s Moss Garden Party Dress. Only in dog and hamster. I can only assume shit was edited out because there wasn’t interesting drama at all.

Ok, new episode.

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So Heidi says they’re going to shake things up, because they don’t quite know who’s going to compete yet. Out of 20, only 16 will be in.

Heidi Klum, Mike, Nin, and The Man Tim Gunn, will be judging.

Becky feels old, and everyone’s sizing each other up, and hitting on each other.

Ok, Kimberly knows her customer, that’s a plus.

Heidi wants to try on Bryce’s cape. O hope she knows sh looks stupid in it.

Anaya Ayong-Chee, Miss Trinidad, has some really pretty stuff. Tim is Baffled by her having learned to sew in 4 months. She had a lot of help though because she may not have the sewing chops to survive on the show. Tim’s worried for her, skill wise. Heidi likes her clothes and is willing to give her a chance.

Nothing up with Becky. Heidi likes Olivier’s “BOob Window”

Midwest Pretty Pretty Princess doesn’t seem to go over well.

Chumly is inspired by bugs. Okm, let’s not mince words… pre-bugs. They’re not digging the colors.

Julie does outerwear. Nin just asks, and Julie goes on the offensive.

Amanda hated rompers. Eff her. I LOVE Rompers. Heidi’s scared by some of her stuff.

Hellene wasn’t as intimidated as she thought she’d be.

Gunnar thinks the judges’ think his pink dress is over the top.

Danielle is a bit of a shrinking violet, soft spoken, but knows she can push herself.

Joshua is confusing.

The judges seem bored with Cecilia.

They also seem bored with Raf, though Nin smirks. Raf belives she’s all into his sexually.

Serena just brough some recent stuff.

Bert! I heart you already! The judges seem… confused? angry? constipated?

Snuggly Bear is up. With one testicle. TMI my friend. He has a monkey print. That looks like polka dots. And heidi is going to steal his scarf. I am too.

Talking time!

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