Skip to content

The Home of the Cyber Shark(s)

BBBAAAAAWWWWW is the sound they make…. that's descriptive enough, right?

Category Archives: Neurosis

Day 12

A Song from a Band You Hate

Hate is a strong word, and I’m sure if you started naming bands I could think of some that I really hate, but the only thing that came to mind was Kanye West… but that’s just because I think he’s an ass and I hate him. I don’t know his music, so I can’t very well add him to a list primarily about musical taste… I mean, I did hear him rap on “Forever” by Drake… and it was awful… but I like to hold myself to higher standards.

I also thought of Patty LuPone, who I also personally dispise, and Barbra Streisand who I enjoy when she acts in Meet The Fockers, but nothing else… and I really ahte her singing voice… but neither of them can really be called bands. They are singers, and they rarely write their own songs, but rather sing other people’s songs.

So, who did I pick? Whose name fills me with ire? Well… it was going to be Soulja Boy…cause… they’re fucking ridiculous and SHOULDN’T BE FAMOUS YOU GODDAMN IDIOTS but instead I’m falling back on R. Kelly. Because Trapped in the Closet, and the term “Hip-Hopera” are  RI-GOD-DAMN-DICULOUS. I don’t take kindly to people patting themselves on the back for how brilliant they think they are, when the thing they did… was… ARGH! Itjustmakes me GNASH MY TEETH I’M SO ANGRY RRRRAAARRRRGGGGHHHH

and yes, this was years ago… but, again… ire.

You know why? Because he did this:

And I LOVED “I Believe I Can Fly” it was a big song back in the day. I’m pretty sure it was played at my 8th grade Graduation dance.

And then… well…  I just felt betrayed, R.Kelly. Betrayed. Fuck you.


…now I’m angry again. Goddammit R.Kelly!

Tags: , , , , , ,

Happy Halloween! In an hour, I have to get ready to go to a party, which is exciting, because this will be the first year in a while I actually have a proper costume.

So I was debating adding another Rescue 911 episode here, as those episodes mostly freaked me out, and what better way to honor Halloween, besides sitting around and eating candy? But that’s not special is it? I mean, I’m going to have a lot more of those, and today is Halloween! Hallo-fricken-ween!

So, let me tell you a spooky story. One that freaked me the crap out in 1st grade. And continues to haunt me.

I remember that it was Halloween, and the teacher brought in a tape player – see, we used tapes back in the day for everything. I’m just grateful that my mom never decided to get this tape and put it in my Teddy Ruxpin doll*.

Anyway, it goes like this:

Now it’s said that a long time ago a fellow named Jeb took to the foothills of Tennessee  to live off the land.

Now old Jeb loved nothin better that a pot of beans with some meat in it, and he’d eat off that pot of beans for a week or

Continue reading this article ›

Tags: , , ,

Rescue 911.  Man. It was a show wasn’t it?

The Importance of Respecting Doors

Episode 3.22 “911 Heart O Glass”

Two-year-olds, as we know, are full of energy, and this one two year old girl… the next few also feature girls, though I have a few memories of one or two bad things happening to men… was just enjoying summer by running around.

That’s, it, that’s all she was doing, being a two year, and running the fuck around like some sort of crazy two year old that runs around.

It went like this…

Continue reading this article ›

Tags: , , , , ,

I have no idea what general age group will end up reading my blog, even accidentally. I suspect enough of them are my peers so that when I mention the words “Rescue 911” they know the full meaning of my subject title today. But I accept that maybe some of you grew up in Idaho without a television, or are old and didn’t know there was programming on the television after Ed Sullivan went off the air. Or you’re really young and think I’m some sort of dinosaur-fossil-saurus-lady, a walking skeleton-dinosaur who happens to be female… like those Dry Bones from Super Mario Brothers… only, you know, a dinosaur and not a turtle.

That's the best I could come up with...

Like I was saying, you may be young enough to think I hand fed Dino, the dinosaur on the Flintstones… but you’d also be too young to even know what I’m referencing.

In the event that you are deprived, old, or stupid young, let me give you a rundown of this show.

Continue reading this article ›

Tags: , , , ,

I like to think that I hide how actually neurotic I am quite well, and that even my friends wouldn’t know I harbor these thoughts of how much of an idiot I look like at the moment, or worse: could look in a moment. I have no idea where these things come from, but they exist, and some of them are just weird. I’ll share the weird ones with you. I’m sure I have some depressing ones and some frightening ones… you don’t need to know them.

So, in no order of how much these thoughts plague me, please enjoy my first neurosis:

Continue reading this article ›

Tags: , , , ,