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BBBAAAAAWWWWW is the sound they make…. that's descriptive enough, right?

Alright, I missed the last 2 weeks. Why? Well… short story: I was away. Long story involves a half blind pug and Fable 2. Thank God for DVR. I don’t know how I survived TV without it.

So, a quick recap to bring people up to speed:

Bryce is a hipster douche, he and Viktor have severe attitude problems. Olivier has an accent that makes no effing sense. Bert has a chip on his shoulder. And Lauren/a I don’t give a crap she’s Pretty Pretty Princess, is trying to make “classy not assy” a catch phrase.

Suspenders went home, which made me sad. I didn’t think his umbrella dress was that bad compared to the baby blue wee wee pad dress Bryce made.

Fallene! I didn’t have time to make a nickname for you! I’m sorry you’re gone! But in a way I am glad she went home now. If she had been passed through I think the higher pressure and intensity of the coming weeks would have totally broken her. The problem is that she and Bryce both said that she was responsible for that black swan dress. I don’t think that’s fair since Fallene totally made the only thing worth looking at there. If Bryce is in the bottom 3 this week he needs to go home.

Now, onto the gripe!

Snuggly Bear should have won with his bird seen dress. That dress was beautiful and the birdseed so crazy perfect and I loved looking at it. Nin and Mikey are huge hypocrites for decrying and sending home Suspenders for his “conventional” material in the umbrella, while giving What’s-his-hoodle a pass on an uninspired, barely altered doggy bed top that make the model look huge. It was also such a bland color palette, and the first thing I thought was that it was essentally Andre’s Moss Garden Party Dress. Only in dog and hamster. I can only assume shit was edited out because there wasn’t interesting drama at all.

Ok, new episode.

Bryce is such a twat. Guh. I can’t get over how much  hate him. He’s sweaty and pompous and has questionable taste.

Oh. Fantastic. Nin is the client. Design something really boring and safe and you’ll be good. ..The Day to Night Challenge.

Nin. You don’t like “Classic with an edge” you don’t know what that means, and you don’t know what “edgey” is. She hates everything that’s pretty much not black and white.

Miss Trinidad seems to think that taxi cabs are the symbol of New York. Really? That’s the first image people think of when they think of New York? Taxis? Maybe it’s because I’m from NYC and I have issues with taxis.

Viktor is being a little brown noser. He HAS a NICKNAME.

Bryce I hate too much to give a nickname. Maybe I will call him Bry-Bry. He’s young and annoying and reminds me a child who is always sticky.

Brown Nosey McGoo is all “I LOVE BEING NEXT YOU NINA YOU ARE AMAZING”

Nin hates cowls, so Brybry’s doomed. Not Phil needs a plan b. Not Leeane suggests a dress. Nin says pants. Julie offers a dress coat.

Ok. What is Nin wearing? That horrible pinky-orangey color with that black vesty thing. UGH1 That LOOKS DISGUSTING.

Nin likes pants. That’s all you need to know.

Cecelia’s breaking Nin’s heart with a “dated” coat that looks “dynasty”. She should look in a mirror.

She IS those type of people who knows exactly what she wants Cecelia. And is really annoying about it.

Apparently, Nina doesn’t want boring. Well, that’s her own fault isn’t it? Who knows WHAT Nin thinks is boring or exciting? She doesn’t want print or bold colors or this or that or that, well. WHAT THE FUCK Nin? What. the fuck.

Snuggly Bear thinks Becky stole his idea for a fabric? Beckers (she reminds me of someone you’d call Beckers) is just going to run with it. Due to Snuggly Bear’s attitude here, I hope Beckers shows him what for.

Not Phil is trying to reassure Miss Trinidad that Nin has great skin tone and can pull of a banana yellow.

I feel for Sk8er because it takes a lot to go back to school after being in the real world. I don’t like her because she’s a skateboarder. I don’t like her designs too much, but I respect her.

Snuggly Bear is being such a bitch about Beckers having the same fabric as him. He thinks she cheated off him. Dude. Let it go. You are two different designers, and it could be extremely interesting to see that same fabric used in different ways. I REALLY hope your dress sucks right now Snuggly Bear. REALLY HOPE. You’re going to turn into AR if you don’t drop the drama queen act.

Nin’s in the work room.

Nin hates everything Danielle’s doing. She just “No’s” everything. Instead of saying “No” to everything Nin, how about offering better advice.

Sk8er is confident. The Man Tim Gunn tells her that she’s alwasy confident, and the he sees her stuff on the runway and he’s like “WAAAH” or something very Tim Gunny.

Miss Trinidad decided to take a risk. Nin’s being a jerk about it.

Commercial.

Here’s the thing kiddies. I know we all have specifice things we say we like and dislike, and that’s fine, but if you just say no to everything you think you don’t like and never take a chance your horizons are always going to be closed. If I said no to going to Purchase because it was away from home and scarey, I never would have begun watching Project Runway. If I had said no to Cucumber Sushi, I never would have tried Tuna.

And this is a competition about creaticity, Nin. CREATIVITY. And you are in there telling them that their creative ideas are bad. How do you know until you see them? You are, in a very specific and deliberate way, ensuring a very boring fashion show because you are trying to guide all the designs to suit you, and your one note clothes.

So, I say, get the hell out of the workroom, let the designers design, and try to let yourself be pleasently surprised at what they come up for you. It would be a great way to get to see how other people think you could dress!

GAH! Nin has been pissing me off since last season.

Back.

Yes. It IS a big risk Nin. No risk, no reward.

How did it happen that two designers got the same fabric at Mood? Who cares?! WHY IS THIS A BIG DEAL IT HAS HAPPENED BEFORE!

Pretty Pretty Princess doesn’t see how that green is Christmas Green. Whatevs.

Viktor is making a Little Black Dress and Nin’s like yay. Eff that.

Nin is visibly scared by Cecelia’s fabric choices.

Nin says that Cecelia’s fabric is “Mousey and Mousey” and that she’s trying to help her give it a little punch. ROLLING MY EYES NIN. ROLLING MY EYES.

I am not a fan of Pink Ranger’s gold fabric thing. It’s gross.

I think I’m going to start calling him Pappa Gunn. Out of respect, cause he’s Timm Gunn. He’s kinda like a father, and he has a very comforting presence, at least on screen. Maybe he’s crazy off screen. Don’t care.

Oh, what’s this, another prize for winning? A spread in Marie Claire? Yeah, so? Not surprised.

Pink Ranger’s lost a lot of her family.

Not Phil recommends that Miss Trinidad dye stuff. She hasn’t dyed stuff and it’s tricky for her.

Snuggly Bear and his fiancee are all like “yay marriage”.

Model fitting is going well, and it taking her cues from her model. Probably a good idea. Bert notes that she’s into chiffon. You know what Bert. You’re right.

Too bad Not Phil never suggested to Cecelia to dye her stuff.

I think Pretty Pretty Princess just knocked one of the other designers models by saying how lucky she is with her model and how she’s glad she doesn’t have a model who “is not so good” But whenever I imagine her talking, I see bubbles coming out of her mouth so it really came out like “blub blub blub Neiman Markus”.

Commercial.

Ok. Back.

Viktor thinks Pink Ranger’s in trouble. Because it’s too loud. Miss Trinidad knows she can work under pressure, but that she could do better time management.

Cecelia asked if sk8er slept on her coat. She diffuses the situation with humor. Ok, maybe I don’t hate you much anymore S8er. Cause “That is between me and my coat” is something I would have said.

Pretty Pretty Princess pinned her fabric to her finger. BryBry’s all like “Been there done that got the t-shirt”

Pappa Gunn enters an empty room and was confused because everyone was in the sewing room. This makes Pappa Gunn nervous. And rightfully so…. rightfully SEW eh eh eh?…

Beckers is worried for Miss Trinidad’s lack of sewing skills.

Viktor thinks his little black two peice looks like it should be at Barney’s. I think it’s boring personally.

Cecelia’s dress is pretty sad looking. She gave up, which is disappointing.

Pretty Pretty Princess wears heels and thinks that it’s werid to use the sewing machine with heels. Well.. why not wear flats? Heels are never functional. Never.

Hair and makeup is the ssdd you know?

Cecelia offers to help sk8er with her dress. That’s nice of her, but Cecelia should have spent that time working on her own ugly thing.

Hey, glue! Glue comes out! I’ve seen that before!

Pretty Pretty Princess also helps Miss Trinidad. The way she put it almost made me change my mind about her.

Viktor is bitching about this and thinks it’s cheating. Has he never watched Project Runway before?

Everyone’s running late, and Pappa Gunn says he can’t do the runway show alone. I disagree 100% Pappa Gunn.

Commerical.

You know what no one has talked about at ALL? A day to night transition. Wasn’t that part of the challenge? Usually, when women buy clothes that work for day to night, there’s an actual transition there. The addition or subtraction of a coat or belt. A different hairstyle and makeup. They have to really use those hideous accessories well to pull this off methinks.

Back

Ok, here’s what we all really care about anyway. The Runway Show. DA-DUM!

Why are there 2 guest judges?

Anyway

Not Phil’s is… eh. Interesting back, but not Nin.

Bert’s is very… Jackie-O. Bert’s safe.

Olivier’s suit is BORING. The pants are too short.

Snuggly Bear’s dress and skirt is really lacking in somehting. I don’t think it’s that well fitted.

Becker’s dress is better tailored, and I think it’s better that Snuggly Bear’s. I’d wear it.

Pink Ranger’s outfit is ok. I don’t like the gold on the top, but it was well executed.

Cecelia’s dress would be a lot nicer if it was in other colors.

Miss Trinidad’s outfit is pretty nice. Smart move on the dying.

Daniell’s look is boring. But she made that blouse work.

sk8er’s is kinda’ icky color-wise. Unfinished.

BryBry’s hem is a mess, and I don’t think that sleeve length is proper for a dress that short.

Pretty Pretty Princess’s dress is confusing. Like the sleeves, but wrong style for that color.

Vikto’s thing is.. meh. I don’t like it. I’m sure Nin loves it. It could be because it’s black and I can’t see the details.

Ok.Goddamnit BryBry is safe with that stupid hem.

Everyone’s talking about who is top and bottom. Bert makes a faux pas and says something about Olivier’s suit. You know, I’ll let it slip because that was a poor suit. Bert’s also 102, so his short term memory ain’t the greatest.

Commerical.

This commercial break features a commercial for one day, a movie with Anne Hathaway, and actress I can’t stand, every woman I know either hates or says “eh” about her, but every guy I know thinks is amazing.

Back.

Viktor’s black dress is all yays. I don’t like how it fits. I hate those shoulders. I don’t get this at all. Where is she going at night? I can see that in an office. Guh. Lame.

Sk8er. Oh sk8er. They don’t like it. No one likes it. Not surprised.

Cecelia’s dress is yuck. And Mikey’s reiterating everything Cecelia’s already said.

Pink Ranger’s outfit is in the top. The more I see it the more I like it actually. The design in that top is great… still I don’t like the fabric choice for myself, but yeah. Ok.

Miss Trinidad’s up, and says how she dyed it. Oh, Miss Trinidad, I wish you could have said something like “Pretty Pretty Princess helped me sew the color on”. Viktor’s gonna’ be an ass isn’t he? ISN’T HE?

Danielle mourns her choice of fabric. And maybe she’s right that there’s some nice structural details in there, but yeah. Bad choices there. It is boring. I don’t think depressing when I see that thought. I think poor college student on a job interview trying to look professional.

I think Pink Ranger’s going to win and that sk8er’s out.

Viktor makes a wise decision to not tell the judges, because if he did people would call him an asshole.

Hmmm… the way they’re talking, Cecelia may be out.

Miss Trinidad’s jumpsuit may win because she presented something new that Nin thought she’d never wear, and was quick on her feet to dye it.

Just as long as Viktor doesn’t win, I think I’ll be ok.

Commercial

I feel like the personalities of these designers have gotten really shitty over the years. Everyone seems so much more entitled than they used to. Drama never used to be the thing that they’d market. Sure, there’s be a little drama, but in the end it was all about the fashion. I remember the personalities of previous designers through their designs, not the drama they caused. Where’s Chris March when you need him? Bring back the genuine people, the hard workers, the ones who didn’t spend every other second gossiping! Everyone would help each other! I remember that, I remember it well, when they’d offer advice to each other, but friendly advice. When buying the same fabric wasn’t a thing at all.

Also, Russian Dolls looks like the shittiest thing ever.

Back

Man. I can’t believe Brybry isn’t there. He’s lucky. LUCKY.

And the winner is: THE PINK RANGER! Woooooo! Good for her!

Safe are Viktor and Miss Trinidad.

Also safe is Danielle.

I typed that before it was announced.

And sk8er gets the auf. Which is sad because I just figured out what to call her. Nertz.

Pretty Pretty Princess does make a good point. If Cecelia you’re breaking my heart doesn’t fully want to be here, then she should step down.

S8er handles it was grace. And another person who should probably go home early because she doesn’t perform well under pressure. I think she’ll go one to keep on designing clothes.

That outfit does look good on Nin, I have to say.

Next time is another team challenge. And Olivier looks like he faints. Not Phil, Brybry, Beckers, and Viktor seem to have issues.

And now I’m changing the channel because Russian Dolls? Really? Fuck that noise. I can watch the rest of Bridezillas!

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