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The Home of the Cyber Shark(s)

BBBAAAAAWWWWW is the sound they make…. that's descriptive enough, right?

So Heidi says they’re going to shake things up, because they don’t quite know who’s going to compete yet. Out of 20, only 16 will be in.

Heidi Klum, Mike, Nin, and The Man Tim Gunn, will be judging.

Becky feels old, and everyone’s sizing each other up, and hitting on each other.

Ok, Kimberly knows her customer, that’s a plus.

Heidi wants to try on Bryce’s cape. O hope she knows sh looks stupid in it.

Anaya Ayong-Chee, Miss Trinidad, has some really pretty stuff. Tim is Baffled by her having learned to sew in 4 months. She had a lot of help though because she may not have the sewing chops to survive on the show. Tim’s worried for her, skill wise. Heidi likes her clothes and is willing to give her a chance.

Nothing up with Becky. Heidi likes Olivier’s “BOob Window”

Midwest Pretty Pretty Princess doesn’t seem to go over well.

Chumly is inspired by bugs. Okm, let’s not mince words… pre-bugs. They’re not digging the colors.

Julie does outerwear. Nin just asks, and Julie goes on the offensive.

Amanda hated rompers. Eff her. I LOVE Rompers. Heidi’s scared by some of her stuff.

Hellene wasn’t as intimidated as she thought she’d be.

Gunnar thinks the judges’ think his pink dress is over the top.

Danielle is a bit of a shrinking violet, soft spoken, but knows she can push herself.

Joshua is confusing.

The judges seem bored with Cecilia.

They also seem bored with Raf, though Nin smirks. Raf belives she’s all into his sexually.

Serena just brough some recent stuff.

Bert! I heart you already! The judges seem… confused? angry? constipated?

Snuggly Bear is up. With one testicle. TMI my friend. He has a monkey print. That looks like polka dots. And heidi is going to steal his scarf. I am too.

Talking time!

I still really hate how Raf styled himself. That mustache is dumb looking.

And the talking time is all… over. With nothing for me to sink my teeth into. I always liked hearing deliberation. Admittedly it may be a bit long for a show that’s only… lemme check… and HOUR AND A HALF?!… You could have 3 deliberations in that time! What am I watching, and movie?!

Fine, so it’s a commercial, and I’m getting something to drink.

I’m back with a bottle of Riesling. Just in case anyone wants to play along or reinact my night. Yes I am drinking alone. No. That’s not pathetic. It’s Project Runway. And I don’t have to explain myself to you, go away.

Let’s see if I can make a Project Runway drinking game on the fly:

Drink whenever The Man Tim Gunn says “Make it work”

Drink whenever Nin, Mike, and Heidi Klum disagree.

Drink whenever there’s an unfinished hem

Drink whenever they do an “unconventional material” challenge, and people use things that might as well be fabric (shower curtains, plastic bags, etc…)

Oh, it’s back on.

Drink whenever the competitors you’re rooting for get the Auf.

I agree with those four. I don’t like Raf’s style, but I get it.

Yay Snuggly Bear!

Awwww Chumly. I’m glad you’re gone because I didn’t really get your design, but now I can’t call anyone Chumly.

Gunnar’s gone. Good.

SUSPENDERS IS IN! Whooo

AMANDA’S OUT, ALSO WHOOO sorry. Bad experiences with that name.

Miss Trinidad is in!

Bert… is in! Woot!

Looks like I don’t have to drink right now.

Cecilia’s gonna’ be in for drama.

Called it. She’s gonna’ be this season’s Drama Mamma.

Suspenders is all about the intesity of the moment, and Heidi Klum’s apparetnly drunk and can’t say “Original” to save her hot Austrian life. Or is she German? I don’t care.

Becky notes their apartment is very very pink, and her design sytle is artsy giryl and edgey.

Suspenders has never been to NYC, and is a Mormon. Hmmm…

Everyone’s calling Laura Barbie. I’m ok with this, so I’m going to go with it.

Bert doesn’t know if he snores. And lights out!

5 am, well polished shoes sneak down the hallway. Its owners on a mission. It’s The Man Tim Gunn having a Project Runway Come as You Are party. The designers are told to take their bed sheets, and go as they are. Someone asks is they can put a bra on. The girls still manage to put some makeup on.

They go to Parson’s. Let me tell you about Parson’s. The students don’t clean anything up. Ever.

Also, they get swanky stuff.

So. What they’re wearing, and the one sheet that they brought are their materials for the challenge.

The designers are nervous and excited. They are given clothes to wear to take their clothes off.

They have until 10pm to sketch and just go for it.

Becky likes the HP touchsmart thingy.

Suspenders is doing 3 pieces.

Hellene is using a puking clown.

Laura’s all like “I’m wearing stain and lace and la la la”

Bert is making a one shoulder dree out of his boxers. Now. This is nothing against bert, BUT, as a lady, I woudlnt want to wear someone’s boxer shorts that they just got out of.

People are having trouble with clothes dye. Really?! REALLY?!

Miss Trinidad is having issues. I am not surprised.

Challenge reiteration. I think I’ll take a drink.

Those pants apparently don’t reflet Julie’s personality, but I would disagree you know?

Yes! Someone mentioned the underwear stuff. And Kimerbly mentioned nut juice. Barbie goes “Ewwww that’s terrible” and then imagines rainbows and unicorns.

Snuggly Bear started with a tank top and shorts, and has some feathers. Tim’s like “Eww dont put those there, cause it’s totally like public hair” and Snuggly bear goes… yeah you’re right Mr. Gunn.

Krum is all like “Snuggly Bear’s totes my only competition even though I haven’t seen anything he’s made”

Julie seems to be biting off more than she can chew and The Man Time Gunn says “do you have time?” and Julie goes “Yes.”

Raf is waiting to figure out what to do. The Man Tim Gunn reminds him that he’s wearing a head scarf, and Raf is like “No ways! My hair’s a hot mess!” And The Man Tim Gunn is like “Raf, you might have been eliminated yesterday, man up and do something!” And raf is like “Woah”

The Man Tim Gunn comes in and is wowed but also notes some people (Raf) have a lot of work to do. The Models are coming in.

Raf’s all like “What’s your sign”. She’s a Gemini. And therefore crazy. I know Geminis. They’re crazy.

Sus[enders’ is having fit issues.

Oliver and his model are speaking in a foreign language. Barbie goes “Are you speaking foreign?” and then thinks about lollipops.

Suspenders thinks he mitigated the fit issue, and feels assured that none of the boys are going home.

The next day, it’s 2 hours until show time. I see Piperlime is sponsering them again. Meh.

Snuggly Bear says you need to push forward. Raf is making his head scarf into a necklace. I was doing that 6 years ago Raf.

RUNWAY TIEMS!

More commercials.

Really, seriously… I can do without commercials every 3 minutes Lifetime. This is why people get angry at these 1 1/2 hour shows. You put in so many commercials, that it totally breaks up the flow of the show and ruins any excitement you’re trying to build up. People don’t pay attentio to commercials, or change the channel, and you run the risk of losing your audience to another channel because of it.

Why not, I don’t know, NOT pad out what should be an hour long show with a half hour worth of commercials? Please?

And we’re back.

I like Heidi’s hair. I think she should cut it that short instead of having it up. Also, blah blah blah prizes. We all know these prizes, they’re the same thing since season 1, even if the names changed.

Immunity challenge!

Judges:

Mike, Nin, and Wednesday Adams (just kidding Christina Ricci, I love you!)

Joshy M made some kind of a thing. Short black skirt blue top. Bad vest.

Barbie made a pretty, if uninspired 3 peice.

Danielle made a nice pair of short and long sleeved shirt.

Barbie says somethign bitchy.

Krum made a white dress. Meh.

Wow, I’m impressed by Becky’s transformation. Plus I like pastels.

Bryce’s thing is…. I don’t know, nice? But nothing new. I’m bored.

Miss Trinidad maade a nice top and pair of pants. I’m amazed that that’s her first pair of pants.

Julie’s this is… bleh. Very young and in the box.

I like Olivier’s use of color tones, but it’s nothing fun to look at.

Kimberly’s thing has… fit issues and.. again, I’m bored.

Snuggly Bear’s outfit is nice to look at, and fits his model well. Also is wearing a bow tie.

Raf’s vest is nice

Fallene’s dress is sooo cute! I would wear that ina heart beat! I love the puking clown! What a funny and cute detail! Fallene, if I had the money, I would hire you to make me clothes all the time.

Bert’s dress is… interesting? It feels safe, but I do love that pop of color his boxers brought in to that.

Suspenders’ clothes are nice, like it, but it looks like something to work out in.

Cecilia’s skirt suffers from being cut too chirt. That top is interesting, in a good way, to look at. Not digging the jacket thing.

Danielle’s all “I should have won!” It’s good to see that, but hopefully she channels that indignation to push herself further and think outside of the box instead of sulking, brooding, and acting like injustice was done. Her outfit was good, but it didn’t hold my interest at all.

I think half the time I type Fallene and the other half I write Hellene. Now I’m not even sure which it is.

So, Bert, Julie, Snuggly Bear, Raf, Anaya, and Suspenders.

Snuggly Bear’s up first. He recovered the yellow. Heidi agree that the transformation is amazing. Mike thinks it’s amazing he’s color blind. Nin like he didn’t go overboard.

Heidi says it’s interesteing to see what they wear to bed.

Raf talks a mile a minute and I didn’t catch any of that. Heidi thinks it’s awful and it looks lik she’s wearing a bib. Mike says something about the flintstones. Wednesday thinks the shirt is interesting and the pants are off putting. Nin says it looks dated.

Heidi had high expectations of Julie, and she is surprised. She says the whole this is bad. Wednesday says the shirt is charming but she wouldn’t want to wear it. Nin hates the poor construction of the pants. Mike makes a masturbation joke.

Nin thinks the pants looks good, and the top, and the back, and Heidi’s happy to see she can sew. Wednesday likes it. And now let’s oogle the butt.

Bert tried to think outside the box. Heidi is in love with it. Nin thinks he has adorable boxers and that the dress is adorable. Wedensday loves it too. Mike likes the tones and asymetry. He hates his styling though, because the “desig is fabulous” but the styling is dated.

Suspenders went athletic inspired look. Suspenders recognizes that there were fit issues. Heidi hates it a lot, and compares it to Raf’s, saying she doesn’t know which she hates more. Suspenders wishes someone wold have said something. Nin says that there’s nothing exciting about it.

But I like that little cape hoodie thing. Sooo… shush Nin.

Everyone applaus when they come in. Suspnders cries on Bryce.

Now comes the deliberations! I love these.

Mike gives ways to have fixed it, but he shouold shut his mouth.

Nin thinks that Raf doesn’t think he knows there’s a problem. Wednesday liked the shirt but Mike makes that sound he makes when

Nin’s offended by Julie’s pants, everyone else hates the print.

They all agree that Miss Trinidad was very smart to make pants when she knew they were doubting her.

Sunggly Bear’s tshirt is a winner for them. Mike likes the overall look. Wednesday likes that she looks dishelved.

Bert listened and that’s a plus. Mike thinks it’s the most interesting garment. The styling is a boooo, but Wednesday didn’t even notice it because the dress was so fab.

I think Raf’s going home, bad styling, bad sewing, bad style, and he doesn’t see the problem with his own clothes. It could be Suspenders, but I think the fact that he knew there was a problem, admitted to it, and was very humble about it, so he might have another chance to prove he can do better and listen to them.

For winner, I’m going to give it to Bert. They all really loved his dress and thought it was the beast design there. I wouldn’t, however, be surprised if it went to Miss Trinidad because pants are hard to make, and she made a fanyastic pair of pants and a gorgeous shirt with and interesting back, having only had 4 months experience sewing.

Ok…. So. Bert… WINS!!!!! WOOOOOOOO!!!! This season is off to a great start! He says Danke Schoen, and Heidi says Bitte Schoene. I think that’s awesome. It should be said that’s because me and my friends always say that to each other. Bert is shaking from the awesome. Bryce is a hipster ageist asshat.

Miss Trinidad and Snuggly Bear are in.

Suspender, Skater, adn Raf, are the bottom. Skater is in. I saw that.

Suspenders…….is……….INNNNN!!!!!!! ALso wooooooooo!

Fair thee well Hipster emo Raf with the poor too trendy styling and creepy stache. And neck beard. TTFN buddy. I suggest growing up and making your own style. You could be fabulous if you do that.

Next week: Pet land Discounts, for the best care a pet can geeeet! I love that jingle.

Also, drama. What the heck? I’m NOT GOING TO BE HERE NEXT WEEK TO WATCH IT,  I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL NEXT TUESDAY! NOOOOOOOO.

Typos left in because I’m too lazy.

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