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BBBAAAAAWWWWW is the sound they make…. that's descriptive enough, right?

Well, they’ve started. And I’m drinking white wine. From a bottle. Cause I’m classy like that. So, here are the results (tl;dr at the end) and the running commentary as I watch it. Italics are my thoughts.

  • Best Orchestrations I legitimately have no idea since I haven’t actually heard any of these. Book of Mormon cause.
  • Best Orchestrations: Book of Mormon!


  • Best Original Score I think will go to Book of Mormon. Again, there IS  a lot of buzz, Trey Parker and Matt Stone are known for irreverance, which the theater world loves, and I don’t think anyone could forget the letter Stepehen Sondheim sent to them after the South Park movie, saying how much he liked their songs. I see Alan Menken worked on Sister Act, and is one of those names, but again… based on a movie… Not that that can’t be done well, David Yazbek is also nominated and has worked on two shows based on movies, rather successfully. This I think is a toss up. So, while I think it’ll go to Book of Mormon, I actually hope it goes to Yazbek.
  • Best Score: Book of Mormon!


  • Best Choreography Stroman again. I like Susam Stroman
  • Best Choreography:  Kathleen Marshall for Anything Goes


Ok, show’s starting! “Un-lipsynced version of Glee” <– Great line! I feel like this song is a direct response to last year’s backlash about how it was trying to reach an audience that is not theater goers. Great cameo from Stephen Colbert. Brooke Shields… your part made me sad. Oh, Al… you’re not going to win being in the front row like that. You know, I like that NPH is singing right at the start instead of waiting until the last 3 minutes like last week. Is it wrong that the older and scruffier Alec Baldwin gets, the more I attractive I think he is.

  • Best Performance by an Actress in a Featured Role in a Play Edie Falco. She went to my Alma Mater… well, my semi-alma mater. I didn’t actually graduate from Purchase.
  • Best Performance by an Actress in a Featured Role in a Play Ellen Barkin in The Normal Heart


A well practiced speech. I don’t like the ones that are really rehearsed.   Shutupshutupshutupshutup. I hope you never win another Tony. Too much flowery language. TOO LONG.  Oh God, Matthew Broderick… the bane of everyone’s existence. Huh. Daniel Radcliffe. Way to carry a tune while dancing! That is not easy at all. Also, this is a great song btw. Brotherhood of Men from How to Succeed in Business… You know, I heard fantastic things about Daniel Radcliffe in Equus, so I shouldn’t be so surprised, but he’s really pulling this off. He really looks at home on the stage.  Awesome! Color me impressed!   OMG! HUGH JACKMAN! You have no idea how much I love that man. Hurry up commercials, end! Hugh Jackman! Get back to Hugh Jackman! ….During this commercial break, allow me to explain: As I may have said at one point, my father works on Broadway, he’s the house manager at the Imperial Theater, where Boy From Oz played… starring High Jackman. And, as a birthday gift, he took me backstage and let me meet the man himself. He came downstairs, having taken a shower. He shook our hands (I was with my friend), and talked to us a moment, mentioned that he saw us in the front row, and took a picture with us. My dad used the digital camera, took a picture, and then Hugh Jackman said: “Take another one, just to make sure”.  I know it seems silly, but really, he’s famous and didn’t even have to say anything or suggest a second picture. And he just has this amazing presence. I hope you get to meet him someday internet.  Equus joke! (Had to stop Daniel Radcliffe from poking out the eyes of the Warhorse). I do think John Lequizamo is really funny. I know I won’t get to see Ghetto Clown while it plays, so I hope there’s an HBO special.  That was a great Broadway moment, akshully. Love it. And he’s right.

  • Best Performance by an Actor in a Featured Role in a Play is I don’t even know what the hell.Arian Moayed. Cause I can spell it.
  • Best Performance by an Actor in a Featured Role in a Play goes to John Benjamin Hickey in The Normal Heart


I’m going to go out on a wing here and say that, of the plays, The Normal Heart is the favorite.  Siiiiigh. You know, if I ever win an award my acceptance speech is going to go a little something like this: “Thank you everyone – you all know who you are.” Granted, I’m also sure if I win everything I don’t think I’ll be able to say anything else than that.   No… they really did make Catch Me If You Can into a musical. That’s crazy. It’s not a funny movie. Comedies translate a lot better into a musical. And don’t get me started on Billy Elliot. What a horrible adaptation THAT is.  I like this music though. I feel like this could have been altered or used for an original piece about spies or something.  NOOOOO AUDIO COME…. oh, you’re back. Ok. Ok, the thing is, musicals work better with absolutes and extreme characters – I mean, the big broadway musicals, big bands, big dance numbers, etc… Complexity can exist of course, but that’s why the big musical spectacle is not the best way to interpret drama, which needs a far more subtle hand. Characters in dramas are not black and white – well, not in a good drama at anyrate, and I remember the movie, and I liked the movie. I can’t imagine a big spectacle like this being an effective mode of adaptation. I remember when Frank sort of freaks the fuck out at the end. There was a good build up for that in the movie. It was suspenseful, but never over-wrought. I’m not sure this musical will be able to do it justice. 

  • Best Sound Design of a Play War Hose!
  • Best Sound Design goes to War Horse!


Oh Spider Man. These jokes are awesome! “I sent Bono a congratulatory cable, but it snapped!” YES!

  • Best Direction of a Musical…. hmmmmm….. Stroman for Scottsboro Boys. I like Susan Stroman.
  • Best Direction of a Musical goes to Casey Nicholaw and Trey Parker


Hey! He stole my speech! “Thank you everyone I ever met in my entire life!” of course, then he goes on.   Yes… it’s true, the theater loves South Park.

  • Best Direction of a Play War Horse. LOVE WAR HORSE.
  • Best Direction of a Play goes to: War Horse!


Seriously, War Hose is amazing. Go see it.  Surprised A Normal Heart didn’t win akshully. Double winners always present an acceptance speech problem. Oh Don Cheedle. Who doesn’t love you? Hey! Scottsboro Boys. I am a sucker for an all male chorus. These guys are a pleasure to watch and listen to. I want this soundtrack. More guys need to wear suspenders. So classy. Suspenders, and vests. But not together. A guy should wear suspenders OR a vests. Siiiigh. I always feel torn between wanting a career on stage, and really not wanting it. I don’t know. But seeing Angela Lansbury… man.

  • Best Performance by an Actress in a Featured Role in a Musical Patti LuPone. She’s Patti LuPone. I’d say Victoria Clark, but. Sister Act booooo
  • Best Performance by an Actress in a Featured Role in a Musical goes to Nikki M James for the Book of Mormon


I’m not doing so good.  Awwww she’s aborable! I want to give her a hug! Honestly, I didn’t know Book of Mormon was this well-liked. I’m actually pleasantly surprised. …I don’t think that’s why bumblebees fly though. That’s a very silly story, but hey… life is full of those inspiring little stories. Oh hey! Stephen Colbert! Ok, Book of Mormon number. You know, I continually forget how brilliant Trey Parker and Matt Stone are. I’m not the biggest fan of his voice… but I think the nasalily-ness is a purposeful affectation for the role. I don’t think a different voice would work at all.  I wanted to see this show before, but now I really want to see it! Downside: tickets are expensive, and the Eugene O’Neil continues to not be in the Shubert Organization, so I can’t see it for free. Nertz Tweeting during the dullest commercials to have ever dulled this side of dullsville. Will say, these are the two best hosts ever. SQUEE!!!!!!! SING OFF THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER The Tony’s: The ONLY time you will ever see Doogie Howser waltz with Wolverine. 

  • Best Costume Design of a Musical Uhhhh…. Priscilla probably.
  • Best Costume Design (Musical): Tim Chappel & Lizzy Gardiner for Priscilla


  • Best Performance by an Actor in a Featured Role in a Musical Rory O’Malley. I like the name Rory. I’m a geek.
  • Best Performance by an Actor in a Featured Role in a Musical goes to John Larroquette
I’m a bit disappointed actually, but I do like John Larroquette, so it’s ok. And that was a nice classy speech. I approve
Oh Bono. No one will ever like you again. 
Oh, wow… Spiderman will actually open? I’m surprised honestly.
Will say, that was a funny little bit. Good on you writers
“This humble thing really works for you man”
Considering they can only so an approximation of the set for the Tony’s, I’m going to say that the set design in Spiderman Turn off the Dark has got to be amazing. It looks very graphic-novely. Actually, I really hope that that’s the entire set used in the entire musical. It would be minimalistic, matching the music (At least for this song) and evocative. Though I’m not sure how I feel about that song. It didn’t do much to make me interested in the relationship, other songs, or story. It did make me want to look at pictures of it though. That’s Julie Taymor for you though. The set is going to look amazing no matter what. I think they chose the wrong song to showcase at the Tony’s – a slow love song doesn’t draw people in unless it’s from a revival everyone knows. 
  • Best Scenic Design of a Play WAR HORSE WAR HORSE WAR HORSE!!!!
  • Best Scenic Design of a Play goes to Rae Smith for WAR HORSE
That song DID remind me of another song though. I’ll try to think of it. Oh… it’s going to bother me so much. 
Oh for the love of… it’s the dude from Big Bang
  • Best Book of a Musical I’m voting for (you know I don’t actually vote in the Tony’s right? That’s just a figure of speech) Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson. It was hugely popular this summer, and everyone talked about it. Everyone. Even people who didn’t know much about the theater were talking about it. I’m surprised it was nominated for Best Musical actually, because that would have been a gimme. Generally I think anything other than Sister Act will win. The big money’s on Bloody Bloody…, but I could see either Book of Mormon or Scottsboro Boys taking it, by some fluke, though I think whichever would take Best Musical won’t take Best Book.
  • Best Book of a Musical goes to Book of Mormon
You know, I still don’t care about a Sister Act musical. Also, I really hope that that was a HUGE joke about Ghost being a musical. This year has seen Warhorse, Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson, The Book of Mormon, and the Scottsboro Boys – all original, all fantastic. Will the producers of these shows please learn that, in general, musicals based on movies are not wanted. For the most part they close really quickly and bring nothing to the theater. At least when a new musical closes quickly, something new is seen, and you’ve probably lost less money because you don’t have to spend that money aquiring the rights. The Tony’s gets confusing when such musicals are rewarded, because on the one hand the message they say they want to spread is one of supporting the arts and new voices, etc… but the one they do send is that something that is new and original is not nearly as important as something that is already familiar. Look at last year’s travesty of the Tony’s, where nearly everyone that won was from Hollywood, and none of them particularly good. 
My god that horse is fantastic. Honestly. All puppetry…. Siiiiiiiigh, so beautiful. So amazing…
  • Best Revival of a Play I think will go to The Merchant of Venice. The Public has proven that it’s still relevant with another production of their summer shows coming to Broadway, and being highly acclaimed. I’m sure it helped that Al Pacino was in it, as Sly iirc (but I could be wrong). So… Merchant of Venice because I haven’t even heard a thing about the other 3
  • Best Revival of a Play goes to The Normal Heart
I’m not surprised after watching the Tony’s: this was the clear favorite tonight. Man I’m tired of hearing about how oppressed homosexuals are. Not because it isn’t true, but because it’s ridiculous that they are. 
Also, Larry, buddy. Homosexuals aren’t any better than any other people. That’s why I don’t like you. Homosexuals are just as good as everyone else.
Also, Memphiswas the boringest of boringests last year. I’m bored again. 
  • Best Scenic Design of a Musical …Uhhhh…. Bloody Bloody.
  • Best Scenic Design of a Musical: Scott Pask for Book of Mormon
WE’LL HAVE TOMORROW! From Little Shop of Horrors! 
…Actually, it’s not in the show itself, it’s a cut song. Find it on the new cast recording’s soundtrack. Or… youtube it. I’m sure it’s there.
  • For Best Play, I’m going to go with War Horse, for the singular reason that I’ve seen it. That’s how I roll. I was thoroughly impressed with War Horse. While maybe the story wasn’t the deepest thing ever (according to an economics major in one of my classes, so, pfft, what does he know?) it’s certainly captivating. You get caught up in the emotion and the characters, and the puppetry is absolutely amazing, to the point that you forget the War Horse isn’t a real horse.
  • Best Play goes to War Horse!
YAY! I’m so delighted by this! 
I don’t think I can say much more about War Horse that I haven’t gushed about already. Siiiiigh. So stoked for them!
I hope they sing Anything Goes. I like that song… I love it really. My favorite is when I heard it in Fallout 3
Also, I love Sutton Foster, she’s definitely a leading lady on today’s Broadway Stage
…Anyway, my favorite is when I heard Anything Goes in Fallout 3. Whenever it would come on the radio, I’d have my character skip across Capital Wasteland… I always imagined her doing that weird finger wiggle thing they used to do back in the day. You know the one.
I like Sutton Foster’s costume.
That was a LOT of fun! Look at me grinning! I’m grinning!
You know last year I was at my friend’s apartment watching the Tony’s, and about 1/4 of the way through, we turned it off. And that was the first time I ever wanted to do that. We actually got to a point (I think when they gave the Tony to Scarlett Johanson) that we both went “Ugh, I’m done with you Tony’s” we occaisonally clicked back to it, but it was just trash last year. This year I am fully enjoying myself, and enjoying the show. I think there’s enough this year that it can appeal to people who don’t go to the theater (because they never have/don’t have the opportunity not people who have gone and don’t like it, that’s a legitimate thing) without pandering to that crowd, like last year, and it does a lot for theater people. So far it seems like (most) everything that’s been nominated deserves their nominations (I’m still not sold on Catch Me if You Can and Sister Act).
That’s a voice that’s done Shakespeare. I want him to read audio books. Also her. 
That’s such a beautiful sentiment. 
I should go see more plays. 
Oh man, the House of Blue Leaves. I had to do the lead part, where the woman talks about watching the JFK assassination. Not an easy role.
Also. Company is great. John Doyle’s Company sucks. I hate John Doyle.
But NPH in Company is great!
Well, there’s a whole like 3 verses skipped. =( I LOVE Side by Side by Side. I always hear it and think of my friends. Yes. I’m Bobby in that situation. 
Company movie with NPH and Stephen Colbert? I’m in. 
Oh… I see what they did there. That was a really effective use of time and the song. Good job!
  • Best Revival of a Musical is a toss up also. There are only two so I don’t know what I can really go on here. I know Daniel Radcliffe is a well known name, and in the acting world deservedly so. He was highly prasied when he was in Equus, but I know nothing about his strength as a leading man in a musical, and if he can carry such a role successfully. I don’t know anything about the current production of Anything Goes, except recently, during Fleet Week, one of the sailor guys (like, an actual one, not one in the show) proposed to his girlfriend. So that was nice. I’ll throw my hate in the ring for Anything Goes though because I like that song.
  • Best Revival of a Musical goes to Anything Goes
I must be losing it…. I’ve been getting about half right. That’s… actually an amazing record for me! Go me! 
That was a good speech! I’m surprised, producers are usually soooo long winded.
Oh no… sad times! =(
S’cuse me while I have a small weep.
Mama Rose just wanted to be noticed. So true of all of us. 
Oh, great, play There’s a place for Us. The saddest song ever.
Oh Tome Bosley! 
Patricia Neal?
Liz Taylor. 
Sigh. Sad times
If I ever achieve any level of fame, and they do an in memorium thing that I’m included in, use a funny picture. I don’t want people to be sad, I want them to remember the laughs. This goes for my funeral. If necessary, hire a comedian. Laugh. Laughing is the surest sign you can go on living. And I’d rather be remembered for making people laugh.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to get all introspective. My bad.
  • Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role in a Play I give it to Vanessa Redgrave. I don’t have a reason. I just like her.
  • Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role in a Play goes to Francis McDormand in Good People
That’s cool, I like her. Also, I think it’s awesome she’s wearing a Jean Jacket with that dress (not ironic, I sincerely mean it)
I also really like her passion. You don’t get to hear that a lot. 
  • Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role in a Musical hopefully Sutton Foster. I love her voice. But I don’t know the other ladies.
  • Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role in a Musical goes to Sutton Foster!
Yay! I love how she’s grabbing at her award. Awww she’s crying over her dresser! That’s actually really adorable!
Oh hai Paul Scheiffer. Oh… Stephen Schwartz. You’re a pompous asshole. 
Oh shit! LOVE THIS! She still has it! Awesome sounding lady!
FABULOUS! Of COURSE the cast of Priscilla would join in in It’s Raining Men! YES!
  • Best Lighting Design of a Musical …. Book of Mormon
  • Best Lighting Design of a Musical goes to Book of Mormon
  • Best Lighting Design of a Play War Horse! God! Love this!
  • Best Lighting Design of a Play goes to War Horse
  • Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role in a Play may very well go to Al Pacino. I don’t have much else to say on this topic, because it may not go to Al Pacino because it’s Al Pacino, you know? He’s the only performance here I can actually vouch for as being awesome.
  • Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role in a Play goes to Mark Rylance for Jerusalem 
He’s giving a great speech! I love any speech that is full of laughs!
  • Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role in a Musical Norbert. I would change this to Best Norbert Leo Butz being Norbert Leo Butz. I love the man.
  • Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role in a Musical Norbert goes to Norbert Leo Butz!
Norbert really is astounding. And I had a crush on him at one point. 
  • Best Musical I think will be The Scottsboro Boys, because the theater crowd has been buzzing about it. If it’s not The Scottsboro Boys, then I think it’ll be Book of Mormon, because the theater world loves to hate religion. I know nothing about Catch Me If You Can (is it based on the movie?) or Sister Act… Sister Act is too new, and based on a movie, and there’s a huge backlash about that going on right now, moreso with the dramaturges, and people actually making theater than the people who put up the money to make theater.
  • Best Musical goes to Book of Mormon 
Actually, I’m not surprised. And best speech ever:
“I’d like to thank our co-writer who passed away. Joseph Smith this is for you!”
This last little rap is adorable!
So, 50% right, which is actually my best average to date, in a Tony show that didn’t include a very clear favorite before the awards started (though, maybe I’m just a bit out of touch. I am honestly very plesantly surprised with the Book of Mormon! I’m giving myself a half point for best musical there because you can see I thought it might go to them. But you can count me 100% wrong if you want. 
So, I think the Tony’s this year were great! I hope they stay fun like this!


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