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BBBAAAAAWWWWW is the sound they make…. that's descriptive enough, right?

Some of you may have been witness to my brain in an uncensored form last night. I don’t know if I should apologize or not. Some of you may be like “Wha? What happened?” because you are one of 3 people who aren’t on twitter, or else one of the bajillions who don’t follow me. You should remedy that. Cause you never know when a night like last night will happen.

Some people drunk tweet. I have. My drunk tweets are usually misspelled and esoteric (which is just a fancy way of saying that only 5 people in the entire world will actually get those tweets, and they were probably the 5 people I went out and got drunk with). What I did last night was tweet while waaaay over-tired.

“But it was only 10pm”

I know reader, I know. Used to be a time I could stay up until 4am without being overtired, but as recently as two weeks ago I started going to sleep at a regular time and waking up early (neither of which, I’ll note, is a “normal” time, IMO). There are 2 reasons for this:

1.) I start classes next Monday, and had orientation all this week, so I knew I needed to be able to be up and out the door by 8:30

2.) I was (and still am) addicted to Mass Effect and Mass Effect 2 to the point that I would play them well past 4am, and it just got to a level of ridiculousness that I new the only way to solve this was to stay up for 24 hours straight. I succeeded at this a few weeks ago by playing Mass Effect 2, and beating it, for… like… 18 hours. After a few rocky noghts of my body being all “What the crap is this, I don’t want to go to bed now!” I get tired around 7:30pm, end up in bed by 8:30 and asleep by 9 generally.

So, what happens when I push past being tired and get my second wind? Something in my brains kind of snaps. Not in a murderous way, just in a “I can’t shut the hell up” kind of way, so everything that comes out of my mouth passes no brain-to-mouth filter. This is what we in the biz (I don’t know what biz) call “Verbal Diarrhea” and because I’m over tired, it’s just really a running commentary on my thoughts on things that I’m seeing at the moment. There’s never any malice or anything, because that requires thought and care and energy. I have none of those when I’m over-tired, just a lack of a “does this sound dumb? should I say this?” filter.

So, here are my own tweets from last night, before I burned my brain out and fell asleep (bold text is the tweet, italics are my thoughts about them this morning)

I miss my hat =( it fell off my head sometime tonight, and has been lost to the snowy icy streets of Manhattan.

Me and Trish met in the city to discuss Geeking Out About. At one point I realized my head was suddenly very cold and wondered why. It was because my hat flew off somewhere between her office and dinner. I liked that hat. I got it as part of a set for Christmas.

Fare thee well Lord Chislethwaite! You will be missed! By the top of my head, and my sense of style! And the scarf and gloves you came with!

I don’t know why I decided to call it Lord Chislethwaite, only that that name sounded funny to me at the time. I am going to miss it though. It was gray and had a multi-colorered stripe pocket and came with the scarf and gloves which matched it. I didn’t name them. Why did I name my hat? And why did I make it a lord? I don’t think I’ll ever know.

This is what happens when I get overtired and am on a second wind, I name my hats things like Lord Chislethwaite. And that makes me laugh…

Seriously, I said it aloud, wrote it down, and laughed at it for a solid minute. Then I just smiled at it for a while.

@OfficialKat …and steal his donuts? Murder donuts are the tastiest donuts

That’s the twitter for Kat Dennings. I like her, I’m a fan.

She wrote something about someone eating donuts and killing them. I’m guessing she couldn’t have donuts. I don’t know. But she did not seem thrilled with the idea of someone in her proximity getting donuts.

Part of me thought the phrase “Murder donuts” was really funny. But I don’t kid myself too much, part of me was just like “Woooo I’m writing to a celebrity like they’re totally my BFF”

Why does Dr Pepper have 23 flavors? I don’t understand it. I only taste one flavor. I call it Dr. Pepper

Actually, the commercial was for Diet Dr. Pepper, but I didn’t want to be bothered with that. Usually I keep my soda-related questions to myself. Though I have no problem commenting on commercials.

That’s admitting that you didn’t know what the fuck you were doing when you made it, & just threw shit together at the last minute & prayed

I stand by this comment.

Which makes me think that Dr. Pepper MUST be a cousin or descendant or… antecedent… of Dr. Frankenstein…

What the fuck? There’s no way Dr. Pepper could be an antecedent of Frankenstein. Dr. Pepper came out in the 1880s, Frankenstein in 1818. WTF brain?

Who basically said “Let’s throw random shit together, let lightning stroke it and pray it works!”

Actually, I never read Frankenstein, I only really remember a little bit about it from the movie, and of course Young Frankenstein. I shouldn’t try to trick you all into thinking I’m more well read than I really am.

Dr. Pepper: The Modern Prometheus of Soda

I actually checked Wikipedia to make sure I was right that Frankenstein was originally titled The Modern Prometheus. If I was more well read than I am, I wouldn’t have had to check it. I suspect I was in my “well, aren’t I terribly clever” mode here.

I still stand by this comment.

Now I’m going to eat my mango. Hello mango. You are to be devoured quite now-ish.

I had a mango. There was a rotten spot so I said “I should eat you before you become more rotten” So I did.

Also, dear self: when you use “now” in the beginning of a tweet, you have no excuse using it at the end. Did you forget what you wrote? Did you think people were going to forget by the end of the tweet that “now” is the time you are going to eat your mango?

In all seriousness, I did forget I wrote “Now” in the beginning.

And the mango’s all like: “WTF? NOOOO” but I’m like “You are delicious, it will be so. OOoooooommmmmmmmmm”

I don’t know why I told you that.

And now to watch some criminal minds where no one kicks any serial killers in the nuts. Why is that @gublernation why no crotch kicks?

I like Criminal Minds. It’s one of my favorite TV shows, and I was watching it at the time. And it struck me that when girls are being attacked by these predators, the show never has them kick them in the nuts. It’s my go-to move, and I think a pretty realistic depiction of women’s first instinct when being attacked by a man.

I wrote this tweet and mentioned Matthew Grey Gubler’s twitter account (he plays a character on the show) cause I was all like “This is gonna’ be awesome”

But really part of me was like “I AM TYPING THIS BECAUSE IT MAKES US LOOKS LIKE BFFS AND MAYBE SOMEDAY WE WILL BE BFFS DERP DERP DERP”

You.. you know that part in ren and stimpy when ren eats a bar of soap? That’s me and my mango right now.

I tried to find a clip of just that part, because it’s pretty iconic to me, when Ren’s in the bathtub and going insane (in Space Madness, btw) and he thinks his bar of soap is an ice cream bar.

…Pretty appropriate for how my mind functions at that point in the night.

Except my mango is more delicious than a bar of soap… also far more pulpy. I have mango pulp in my teeth now.

That’s just truth.

When eating a Mango, don’t eat it off the fruit itself, cut it up and eat the slices/chunks because you will get mango pulp in your teeth and need to brush and floss immediately after devouring  your mango.

I’m solving this by eating more mango. Because some of the pulp gets stuck on some of the other pulp and pulls it out.

It’s a trick that works about 50% of the time, like when you get silly putty on your clothes and you get it off your clothes by pressing silly putty on it.

The other 50% of the time it just fucks up your day.

I’d brush my teeth but my mango’s not done. Also my toothbrush plays the new care bear theme song for 2 minutes straight.

We always get new toothbrushes for Christmas. And my mom couldn’t find a neat enough looking one for me. Dad and my brother both got Yankee toothbrushes, so she wanted to get me a unique one too. She ended up on a tooth brush that plays music for the duration of the amount of time you should be brushing your teeth. And it’s a care bears one.

And that’s too cheerful for me, when I’m still mourning the loss of Lord Chislethwaite

I think by this point I had actually forgotten about my hat, but thought I was being super clever by bringing it back around full circle.

Oh, my bad @gublernation I think the killer in this episode is a lady-type. No nuts to kick this time

Again I was like “BRAAAHHHH BFFS WE WILL BE”

Also the killer was a lady, so you can’t kick her in the nuts to escape.

That being said though… you know how much it hurts to get your vagina kicked hard? A lot. A fucking lot

It does. I one got a kick there so hard it bruised the bone. And I never went to Tae Kwon Do again.

Which is not to say it’s comparable to man pains, but only that if you kick a female serial killer in her vage, she’s gonna’ hurt a lot too

Being a lady, I don’t know what it feels like when someone kicks you men in the junk. All I know is a swift kick to the coot will hurt badly enough for you to escape from a crazed lady trying to kill you.

Oh man, a bot that retweets all posts related to vaginas? Awesome. I’m going to abuse you in the near future @TwatBlock

Of all the tweets that have gotten retweeted, I think I’m proudest of the one that mentions vaginas. And this bot totally retweeted it.

Spoiler Alert: I did not abuse the bot.

My mango’s done. Unless someone convinces me otherwise, I will take this as a cue to start getting to bed

What am I self? Some sort of monkey that desires attention? Why didn’t you just go to bed?

@siriesbot3 I can watch Criminal Minds on my tv. Like I am now.

A bot said I could watch Criminal Minds for free at some web zone. I like to respond to bots. I don’t know why. I do this when I’m not crazy tired too.

@PushinUpRoses a piercing gone bad, or did someone really fuck up his knitting?

She did a drawing of a guy whose head was impaled on something. It’s a cool, if bloody, pic. I felt the need to say something.

Dear Quaker Rice Cakes: Whole grain SHOULD NOT taste like caramel. It is very nice that you make them to taste like caramel though

There was a commercial for these things and the commercial said “Shouldn’t whole grains taste like caramel?”

That’s my response. Whole gains should taste like whole grains, because food should taste like what they are.

OMG PHILLIPS COLON HEALTH I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT POOPING IN A LIBRARY

They were actually talking about colon health… but you know they mean pooping.

Well twitter, I think you know what I’m like when I have no inner voice silenign my stream of consciousness…

My twitter client did not do a red squiggly line underneath “silenign”… which should have been silencing. I did not catch this misspelled word until it was too late because of that.

I… I thought I have accidentally stumbled on an awesome new word… well now it means… to slash at horribly in attempt to quell or stop

And this is my lowest part of the night, when reality ruins everything because my twitter client in inconsistent in pointing out spelling mistakes.

I never trust a wine connoisseur who orders wine from the century I was born. Wine has to be at least 200 years old or I’ll have none of it.

I was just being an ass. But seriously, I can’t imagine wine from the 80’s tasting good.

Who read Voltair in French Hotch? I’ll tell you who: SOMEONE WHO CAN READ FRENCH that’s who!

Also being an ass and responding to the tv. Why was I doing this? It was not a new episode of Criminal Minds, not by a long shot. Mandy Patinkin was still in it.

Also, someone who reads Voltair in French does not necessarily mean they think they’re better than other people. I read Cyrano de Bergerac in French because I love the play and wanted to brush up on my French comprehension skills…

But, someone who reads Voltair in French OBVIOUSLY knows French.

There, I narrowed down your suspect list by like… a billion people all over the world

…and quite a few in America.

Getting off twitter now or else craziness

I don’t even remember tweeting that.

I thought that a tatoo of N7 would be cool but then i was like no.

I was officially off twitter and posting from my phone because my brain kept running. I should have left my phone downstairs

The reason I was like “no” about the tattoo is pretty much because I don’t know if ME3 will be awesome and worth permanently marking up my body for. Not the pain.

As awesome as m4 prt 2 is there’s no part 1!

Mass Effect 1 soundtrack, that song that plays during the credits. It’s an awesome song. But there’s no part 1. This generally doesn’t bother me during the day.

Also? Totally more appropriate for me2

Yeah, ok… I’m totally right about this.

And my rats are in their cage going “this shit again?” and making tons of noise to spite the me soundtrack

I don’t think they were being noisier than normal. They were play fighting, squeaking, chewing on things, bruxing… normal things. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have villainized my rats like that for your amusement.

Well rats. Too bad. If you werent so goddam cute… I dont know where i was going with that

My rats ARE very cute.

Now im just impressed my rats are still alive 5 months later. Way to go me. You are not a murderer

I am actually really proud of myself for taking care of them for 5 months. Well, 5 months this February 1. I don’t have the best track record of keeping tiny mammals alive. Though that goes back to being like 4.

Way to go all of you for not being murderers. High fives all around. Except the murderers. You go stand in the corner

More people need to be proud of themselves for not being murderers. If your life sucks, at least you’re not a murderer you know?

Im gonna dream im flying through space. On a space bear. And me and my space bear are gonna get drunk at a space bar

Listening to the Mass Effect soundtracks made me think I should dream about being in space.

Spoiler Warning: I did.

And im going to get in trouble from space peta for giving my space bear booze

You know SPETA would totally be pissy about that.

But my space bear hates space peta and mauls them. Then we have a space dance party.

My space bear is goddamn awesome

And my space bear’s name is Thurstone Honeypots III. He wears a tophat. A space tophat

I… I don’t know.

Oh man i wish i could draw all of that

Maybe one day I will. Maybe.

I was going to add one more think before I went to sleep, on the subject of Space Bear and Space PETA:

I would never force Space Bear to drink. Space Bear drinks because he wants to, and I’m not about to get in the way of a Space Bear and his booze.

Also, here are the lyrics to M4 Part II. Tell me they don’t make more sense for Mass Effect 2:

I
have wondered about you
Where will you be
when this is through?
If all
If all goes as planned
Will you redeem
my life again?
My life again?

Fire the fields the weed is sown
Water down your empty soul
Wake the sea of silent hope
Water down your empty soul

Fight your foes you’re not alone
Holy war is on the phone
Asking to please stay on hold
The bleeding loss of blood runs cold

And I need you to recover
Because I can’t make it on my own

And I need you to recover
Because I can’t make it on my own

I
have wondered about you
Where will you be
when this is through?
If all
If all goes as planned
Will you redeem
my life again?

I
have wondered about you
Where will you be
when this is through?
If all
If all goes as planned
will you redeem
my life again?
My life again?

And I need you to recover
Because I can’t make it on my own
And I need you to recover
Because I can’t make it on my own
I need you to recover
Because I can’t make it on my own
I need you to recover
Because I can’t make it on my own
On my own
On my own
On my own…

After a not very thoroguh search of the internet, I have discovered some answers to what are these 23 flavors Dr. Pepper speaks of:

1. Amaretto
2. Almond
3. Blackberry
4. Black Licorice
5. Carrot
6. Clove
7. Cherry
8. Caramel
9. Cola
10. Ginger
11. Juniper
12. Lemon
13. Molasses
14. Nutmeg
15. Orange
16. Prune
17. Plum
18. Pepper
19. Root Beer
20. Rum
21. Raspberry
22. Tomato
23. Vanilla

(according to this place)

or

1. Cherry
2. Vanilla
3. Almond
4. Plum
5. Blackberry
6. Raspberry
7. Apricot
8. Coriander
9. Clove
10. Amaretto
11. Anise
12. Caramel
13. Molasses
14. Birch Beer
15. Allspice
16. Ginger
17. Sasparilla
18. Sassafras
19. Juniper
20. Spikenard
21. Wintergreen
22. Burdock
23. Dandelion

(according to this guy)

-Jillers

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