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The Home of the Cyber Shark(s)

BBBAAAAAWWWWW is the sound they make…. that's descriptive enough, right?

Every list has one of these, so why should mine be any different?
Well, I suppose in the name of being different, I could let it slide, but NO. NO!
I want to write a goddamned honorable mentions list to my Top 10 Co-Dependency List.

So, here it goes, the guys that could have made it on my list if my list had more than 10 slots.

1.) Citan Uzuki from Xenogears.

Yes he did appear on my hottest guys list, and that’s mainly because long hair + sword = dreamy, as did Bart. I didn’t include him in my list because a.) I already had a character from the same game on it (Bart), and he also ranks low enough because he’s a know-it-all who doesn’t use contractions and is married. Sure he’s smart and caring and curious about everything in the world. But he’s also an agent for a secret society and has committed war atrocities. I grant you that there are women who can get over this. I am not one of them.

2.) General Leo from Final Fantasy VI.

While also falling under the “I already have a character from that game” clause, General Leo warrants Honorable Mention because he didn’t have much game time before his untimely killing by one Kefka Palazzo. That bastard.

General Leo showed his true personality in the short time we had with him though, in his words and actions. He’s kind of like a short-lived version of Cecil Harvey: he’s a trusted general of a conquering army who has a conscience and chooses to do the right thing. In Cecil’s case, it’s turning into a traitor, throwing away his dark knight status to become a paladin, flying to the moon to fulfill a prophecy and destroy the essences of evil. In General Leo’s case, it’s following orders, but being nice about it. When the Emperor decided it was time to invade Doma, General Leo wanted a more diplomatic approach. He even told that one soldier to return to Miranda, where he has family. The general who sees his soldiers as people is a rare trope, and one we need to see more of.

General Leo genuinely felt horrible about Kefka’s poisoning of Doma, and I’m sure played no small role in imprisoning him.

General Leo is a man with his priorities in order. He believes in the Emperor, and that’s cool (not all empires are evil), but puts people first. He has  clear conscience and follows it. I imagine he’s also make a pretty good father.

So why, if I like this guy so much, was he not on my main list, and Locke relegated to the B team?

Well, for one, he dies. I’m not in to necrophilia. Of course, that doesn’t matter so much since he isn’t real. But, more importantly, he’s a supporting character with a handful of lines. In the entirety of the game he’s in three scenes I believe? Maybe four, so in that time, in order to get across the fact that this is a noble man, we only see that. There isn’t anything bad I can think of to say about his personality really. Unlike Carth, who is also a soldier, Leo doesn’t seem like a career soldier, so he doesn’t even get that counted against him. And again, this is solely because he is not a main character. Had he been allowed to live, I’m sure General Leo would have been on my list, and I’d be writing about Locke here.

3.) I include this final character because I know that I like my lists to have either 3, 5, or 10 slots. I accept that this may seem odd, and you may think I’m the freakiest person ever for including him. But you have to bear with me and read this, because at this point there’s no reason not to.

Red XIII (aka Nanaki) from Final Fantasy VII

Why he is NOT included on my main list should be obvious: he isn’t human. So, he can’t make the main list. But in a supplementary list where you can qualify odd choices by saying things like: “In a fantasy world… If things were different… etc… I can include whoever the hell I want. I can include Cait Sith if I wanted! In fact, it might make more sense to do that, considering that’s at least controlled by a human.

But, no, Red XIII. I’ve never had a “crush” on him, but he has a pretty distinct character as it is, and it’s a good character at that. Wise, patient, brave, and kind, Red XIII is someone you could rely on, someone who could comfort you (perhaps by purring… is he more of a cat or a wolf? Let’s go with cat. A mate who can purr? Best thing ever). Someone who would also support you. You’d also get an awesome ego boost out of knowing you were helping to save a seriously endangered species… which, let’s face it at this point is just part of the charm of The Doctor (ladies…).

Again, as far as downsides go, he has a few. He seems kind of grumpy and moody… because he’s still a teenage in wolf/cat years. His sense of humor seems to be non-existent (but, in all fairness, I can’t think of any of the PCs in FFVII having a sense of humor). And you’d probably get a lot of negative attention from the far-right. Not that politics should be a reason for not getting together with someone, but it is enough to cause friction depending on how militant these people can be.

…On the bright side though, an inter-species relationship would certainly draw their attention away from Gay Rights.


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