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The Home of the Cyber Shark(s)

BBBAAAAAWWWWW is the sound they make…. that's descriptive enough, right?

I was out all day, and I have a Halloween Party tomorrow, so I am preparing a blog post for that, so today, I’m offering you just a few moment out of my life.

1.) Outclassed:

I have no advice for you if you feel outclassed.  I say that because for the first time ever I knew I was outclassed.

Let me start at the beginning…. no the beginning’s boring, let me start at the middle.

Dinner was good, and he suggested we go back t his place. So we did.

There was a security gate, and the lobby felt like I was walking into some museum.

For my entire life, I was pretty happy, feeling that, though my family wasn’t rich, we were middle class and comfortable.

And then he showed me the roof, and his 1 bedroom apartment. In Manhattan.That was not the size of a bathroom. My friends’ apartment could fit in there.

For the first time in my life, I realized how devastatingly poor I really am.

So, of course, I have to stay with this guy… if only to milk him dry*.

2.) “Great Girl”

There is a band I follow that filled the Fireflies-shaped hole in my heart… it doesn’t exactly fill the hole properly so much as kind of put a band-aid  over it and said “Man up” and I moved on with my life.  Back at that time, I was severely socially anxious… I still am, but at the time I was trying really hard to overcome it. Side note: I can now go out to concerts and the like alone and be mostly ok with it, though I need a drink or two. Back then I used to have to get mostly wasted to not freak out. Any, back on track.. Because I was trying to get over my anxiety, I forced myself to say things to people – a skill many people take for granted, but one that would cause me to hyperventilate mildly so I often would consider saying “Great show” but inevitably chose not to – and went up to a band I really liked that played, one that I knew I’d go see again, and forced myself to say “Great show.”

That was around three years ago, and I have seen many of their shows since, always saying hi, always telling them I enjoyed their show, always leavinging without much conversation because when I try to force conversation because I think a conversation needs to happen, it feels forced. Also “So, how about that Large Hadron COllider” or “This place is so not safe for azombie outbreak” comes across as weird for the most part.

Then I started seeing a guy. He’s a nice guy And I took him to one of their shows, said “great show” to the lead singer, who then looked at the guy I was with, and intriduced himself, and said “You got yourself a great girl”.

This is not a bad thing, of course, but it did leaveme wondering how he gleened that information about me, and it’s true, I AM great, when we’ve never had a conversation… unless it happened while I was drunk and blacked out that night… but then I don’t think he’d call me great, because when I get really really drunk, I fall a lot… and I’m sure I’d end up crying.

To be fair, he was probably being polite. Though it would have been easier for him to say nothing at all, and wouldn’t leave me wondering about the impressions I make on people and how I do it, and can I use this power for evil?

3.) I Never Called My Teacher “Mom”

But I DID once tell her that her nose was the same shape as my grandmother’s.

-Jillers

*In case you’re reading this Guy I Am Seeing, I am really just kidding about that.

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